Monday, September 15, 2008

Too fast

It was a long weekend. Not much was accomplished, but I am back to working my other part time job so it was a full weekend for me. (Worked 8-3:30p Sat and Sun, now I am getting ready for teaching tomorrow and Thurs and back to other work Wed. pm... I am crazy, I know.)

Madeline is awesome. She is just such a happy little girl. What is more impressive to me is that she is a little girl. She isn't really my baby anymore. She is talking up a storm, navigating stairs like a monkey, and entertaining herself for 20 minutes at a time (sometimes).

Today I was making lunch and Madeline was playing with one of her delightful (read: migrate inducing) electronic toys that plays the ABC's. Next thing I know she is singing the first part right along. "A B C D " in her sweet little voice. (yep, no longer just a cry, but a little Madeline voice. Kevin pointed that out to me last week and he is so right.) I smiled from ear to ear, knowing she is such a smart and amazing little girl. But part of me is sad that she is growing so fast.

Some days I get so frustrated and impatient with Madeline. On those days I don't feel that I cherish Madeline enough. Today, I tried to take time to breathe her in. To try to remember her as she is today. She is already so grown up.

Sometimes I just want to hold her and say:

Slow down my baby. Stay little for just a while longer. Let me hold you while you sleep and brush the curls off your ears. Just a little while. Let me sing you a song and watch you smile as you look up at me. Just a little bit more. Let me relish the look you get on your face when Daddy walks into the room. Just a few more times. Let me take all this in so I don' t forget.

And God willing she isn't our last. What must that feel like? If I am in tears now with my first child's transition from baby to toddler what is it going to be like if I feel as if a baby is my last?

Slow down my baby. Stay little for just a while longer.



Fern said...

Awwww... beautiful post. Also, her hair in your header picture is PERFECT.

H-dawg is my last and I enjoy her more, for sure, than I did my others. It has been painful at times to know I'm done, but mostly it's been a lot of fun to enjoy this stage without getting pregnant again, or planning for another baby on the horizon.

Jodie Allen said...

knowing it's your last is as hard as you think... in my opinion. i look at my chunky baby and already miss that tiny scrawny infant i brought home 3 months ago. but i think fern's right, you cherish them more and enjoy them more. it's that poor middle one that had to share her babyhood with a big sister and a pregnant mommy that will be in therapy later! :)

enjoy her... she's adorable!

Elliot said...

Not only does your blog make my blog look like amateur night, but you also made your brother get a bit choked up. Way to be, sis.

Christy said...

Lovely Maureen. A few tears snuck out here in Indiana.

Molly said...

I share your sentiment... I don't spend nearly enough time cherishing my beautiful daughter. But today I will, thanks to your post. When I knew I was on my "last one", I found myself thinking about that, and that helped me take more time, mark the moments, and make an effort to enjoy and remember. It's not so bad. There is sooo much more fun to come... sure, they're not tiny babies anymore, but they bring new challenges and joy. Every stage has its benefits. Even when they're grown up and gone. :)

Then... you get to be a Granny.

Michelle said...

I know how you feel and Peanut's not even here yet.

Profbaugh said...

Cherish the time. It will go by all too fast!!


Elliot said...

Hey, Molly, why'd you stop after two?

I mean, let's face it, you were pushing your luck with the second one. You already had pretty close to perfect going.

And then I came along. How do you improve on the dynamic duo of Mo and El?

And that's why you stopped after two.

Molly said...

I love it when you answer your own questions El. :)

You hit the nail right on the head.