The many ways in which I ruined my children today

I am sick and although I've been in this job for almost three years I still haven't earned a single sick day. Man, my job can really suck.* So because of my inability to focus or breath through my nose I have spent today doing the best I can to get us all to the end of the day in one piece. A masterpiece of parenting it is not.

Without further delay, the ways in which I ruined my offspring today:

• The television was on from 8:30am to about 12pm. I can kid myself into thinking that it is ok because it was tuned to our local PBS station, and therefore educational. However, Madeline watched Barney for the first time EVER and when she becomes a sociopath in her mid to late teens I know I will look back on that 30 minutes as the turning point in her sweet little life.
• I let Madeline dress herself so she wore a long sleeve t-shirt and tights all day. I suggested she put on a skirt, but I was rebuffed and I didn't have the energy to get off the couch, not to mention demand she put on socially appropriate clothing. She didn't leave the house so I shouldn't worry right?
• I confined Lydia to her sling. Why do you ask? Well why would I want her to gain trunk control or roll over? That's insane. And independent play on the floor is over rated. Not to mention the fact that I wanted her as close to my germs as possible. Can't get much closer than the sling. >>please don't call DFS, I am using a heaping dose of sarcasm here. That being said she was in the sling a lot today, but that is mainly because if she wasn't attached to me she was screaming and my head could not handle the high decibels.<<
• I exposed them repeatedly to my crabby attitude, not to mention the germs. I tried to keep it in check but tantrums and hacking cough do not mix well.
• I startled Lydia with my coughing no less than 30 times today. The pure fear and panic on her face was so sad. I am sure that has caused some serious emotional trauma which will manifest itself at about age 13.
  

Not everything was the pits today:

• Madeline ate healthier than she has in days. So at least while she is socially stunted she'll be physically strong.
• Lydia took a 2 hour morning nap NOT attached to me. That's a record.
• Madeline wore her big kid "underwears" all day without an accident. Including nap time. That is a "sick day" miracle. Heck, that's an everyday miracle!
  
• We all ended the day in one piece.

Here's to tomorrow and hoping I feel better and the girlies don't get sick.

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* I love my "job." The perks far out weigh the pits. I wouldn't mind a sick/personal day every once in a while however...

mg

WARNING: Toilet talk ahead

***If you don't like hearing about poop you might want to skip this post. You've been warned.***

Alternate post title: Why we may never eat White Castle's again

I am here, still pregnant. We are doing everything my doctor suggested to get this show on the road. This includes long walks and slyders. (That is how the WC people spelled in on their trademark, honest.) Among other things that I will leave to your imagination.

In order to get working on this process, Kev and I took Madeline to lunch at Castle's yesterday while running some errands. She ate one... just one mind you. Then we ran errands, where we walked around Target, a lot. If you hadn't figured it out, it didn't work. I am still not in labor. Madeline however had quite the reaction.

This is where I start talking about poop so if you are squeamish, look away.

She is a very regular pooper. She poops twice a day. Once in the am and once in the pm. Before lunch she had a regular BM. Totally normal. After lunch however she never did poop. This has happened before, she just wakes up in the am and poops and then we are back on schedule. I didn't even think she would have issues. That is until 2:30am.

Kevin went into her room to calm her down because she was crying. As soon as he walked in, he said he knew something was wrong, because "of the smell." I got up shortly there after to help with the mess, and boy what a mess it was.

I love footie pajamas. Kids are so cute in footed sleepers, running around the house and getting cozy in bed. They are NOT however good for WC poop explosions. She got dirtier getting her out of the sleeper then she was in the sleeper. It has been a long time since we've bathed a child in the middle of the night, but last night we did just that. And a load of laundry. We were all back in bed by 3:15am.

Why do I even mention all of this? Well, first to let any other pregnant women out there know that WC are not going to send you into labor. I've had them twice in four days. Still pregnant... and now exausted. Second, to keep a record of what not to do as a mother for both myself and others. Don't feed your children WC, unless you are ready for a craptastic night. Litterally. Third, and finally, to remind myself that it could have been worse. Madeline could have been here with other family members while we were at the hospital, OR I could have already had the baby and had to deal with NO sleep at all last night. (Just another fear, coming to reality before #2 is here.)

So be warned. No more WC for us. We'll stick to long walks and those other things.

mg

By the time I get around to relaxing at night all of my clever has been used up

Why do I say this? I have pulled up a new post page three times since Monday and NONE of them resulted in a published post. Heck, I'm not even sure this one is going to make the cut!

So instead of drone on about how tired I am and how much I suck b/c I can't even post on my blog that like 3 people read I am going to give you some highlights of the week.

Ready?

• I took a nap every day this week. It was awesome. I didn't get to today and it is NOT awesome.
• I feel ginormous but everyone keeps telling me I look great. Somehow that doesn't make me feel less huge.
• I am teaching again and by the end of a 3 hour lecture my throat hurts and I'm cross eyed. I think maybe teaching at night while 8 months pregnant isn't the BEST idea in the world. You live, you learn.
• Madeline expressed interest in using the toilet this week. Baby steps right? I am still not taking her out of diapers. No way... No how. She has to have a proven track record of being dry before I risk my carpet and furniture. (and there is also the whole poop thing... which I won't blog about...YET.)
  
• I have eaten at least 96 oz. of cottage cheese in the last three weeks. I can't get enough of that stuff. It is like pure gold.
• Kevin has worked more nights in the last two weeks then he did in the last two years. We miss him, but we do get to see him more during the day so that is a good thing.
• I think Facebook was created by evil people to make me waste time caring about the status of people I haven't spoken to, face-to-face, in many many years. It's like social networking crack. I just have to check one more time before bed, just in case that kid I took biology with in the 12th grade updated his status for the 40th time today.
• Madeline has been napping well and sleeping for 12+ hours a night. I know that by blogging this, it means I have jinxed it and she will stop sleeping altogether.
• I hate heartburn.
• We had two awesome play dates this week. (Thank you Anna/Madeline and Becca/Rachel/Leo!) I was totally exhausted by both of them. Madeline could have played for many more hours.
  
• I am so tired my eyes keep closing.
  
• Last night I had a dream that I had the baby and then left it in the car when I went into Babies r Us to get a bath tub and when I got back to the car a gang of little old ladies were yelling at me and hitting me with their purses. So I cried. Think maybe I'm not psychologically ready to have two kids? Nope, I didn't think so...

Ok, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. I sure did. I have more posts in the works, in both draft and just in my head format. Once the weekend is over I will get around to it... maybe. Until then, enjoy the rest of your weekend!

mg

Madeline is 2 years old!

It is that time again folks! It's time for a big old update post!*

*I've done update posts before. If you are interested you can click on the links to see where Madeline was at six months, one year, and 18 months old.


I waited until today instead of posting on her actual birthday because today we visited the doctor so I have her official stats as well! (See how smart I am?!)

Stats:
height: 35 5/8th inches (80th percentile)
weight: 28 1/2 pounds (70th percentile)
Her doctor didn't have any questions or concerns about her
growth and development and said she can ditch the vitamin D
milk and drink skim like the rest of us! Other than that she
is 100% percent healthy and 110% adorable!
(Medically speaking of course!)


Gross Motor:
Madeline is moving a mile a minute. She is climbing anything she can reach and skips all over the house. Today at the doctor he asked if she could jump, and she looked at him and said, very matter of factly, "like a kangaroo!" She was more than happy to demonstrate for him as well! She is working on balancing on one foot. She likes to stand on one foot while holding on to something and say she is practicing ballet. She is quite the little dancer too.

Uncle Bryan and Aunt Beth got Madeline a t-ball set for her birthday and she L.O.V.E.S. playing baseball. She is really pretty accurate in hitting the ball and has really walloped it a couple of times.


Fine motor:
Madeline loves to color with crayons or anything else she can get her hands on. This is problematic when moving because there are sharpies all over the house... but we did safely avoid damage! She is using a fork and a spoon and loves to stab watermelon and spoon up her "go-gert." (Not that icky flavored kid yogurt... that's just how she says it.)

She is working on lacing with the two lacing cards we have and she strings big beads onto an old shoelace. She spent almost 20 minutes working with puzzles this morning too. She loves her puzzles! (Thank you Scott and Becky, Bruce and Sue and Kathy and Elliot! The purchasers of said puzzles!)

Kevin and I got her this cutting food for her birthday. She loves using the cutter to slice the pieces of food apart. Some of the pieces are difficult to cut because the Velcro is still new, but she works through it.

Next is to work with her on cutting with scissors. For some reason this scares the junk out of me... do I really want to share the key to cutting with a 2 year old? I know you give them safety scissors but do I really want her to know what they are for? I mean that doesn't sound like a good idea to me AT ALL!


Language Development:
The last few times I've done this I've listed all the words Madeline has. If I were to try to do that I would be here for a very, very long time. Let's just say her language development is going along swimmingly! She is speaking in very meaningful and clear sentences. Some of them even have 8 or 9 words in them! The other day she used the word "is" in a sentence. (i.e. 'Where is Daddy?) This is significant because until then she would leave that out and just ask the question 'Where Daddy?' See how smart she is?

She seems to know more words every day and sometimes she surprises us with words she knows. Like shovel and elevator... didn't know she knew those words until she used them!


Social Development:
Madeline loves spending time with other kids. She is always asking how her friends are. ('Where is Madeline today?', 'Leo and Max come to park with me?') She is a social butterfly to say the least and loves being with her friends.

As for adults, she loves them too. She is very friendly with just about everyone friends, family and strangers. Every time she meets someone new she will say hi and then introduce Kevin and I as "This my Mommy and Daddy." Just in case someone didn't know.

She is begining to show compasion or simpathy for others. She will pretend that her baby doll Maggie has a boo boo and will then comfort her until she is better. Today Madeline got a shot at the doctor, so of course Maggie had a shot too... but she is all better after hugs and kisses by mommy Madeline. She is also totally obsessed with Olive the cat. Poor Olive.

__________

Ok, I think that wraps it up. I am not going to address toilet training because since the move happened all efforts at toilet training were officially haulted. We have yet to resume. Soon, however, we will begin again. Once I have my mental energy back!

We can't believe our little baby is 2 years old. She is so much fun and it is so wonderful to see her grow. I miss my little baby sometimes, but it is amazing to see the kid she is becoming. She has the best personality and I love seeing her develop into an incredible little girl. We can always have more babies? Right?

mg

Did you know?

Did you know that printers will not print unless they are at room temperature? I didn't until ours gave us an error message that said something like,

"Do you know how cold it is out here on the porch? I am @%#&-ing freezing you @$$hole! I'm not doing your bidding until I am at least at ROOM TEMPERATURE!!! "

To which I replied, "Whoa printer! What's with the toilet mouth?"

Then I checked myself into a clinic for those who talk to their electronic devices.

The End.

Toddler Lesson #3

Poo and Pooh may not be the same thing to you, but to a toddler there is no difference.

Toilet training is going well. So well in fact, Madeline 'Pooh'ed in the toilet this morning. And no, that isn't a misspelling.

For weeks we have been discussing, as best you can with an 18 month old, that pee and poop goes into the toilet. She has even been asking to sit on the toilet, and has successfully peed multiple times. Today, as Kevin was getting read to head to work she walked into the bathroom lifted up the lid and proclaimed "POO!" very proudly.

Milliseconds later her sweet Winnie the Pooh was hurled into the toilet. Gross. Boy am I glad the tag says its machine washable.

mg

Madeline is 18 months old!

Tuesday I taught all day long, then I stayed up way to late watching election news on TV. It was worth it though.

Tuesday was also Madeline's 18 month birthday! Remember last year when I made her 1/2 a cake? Back when I was a 'good' mother? Ok, I know I am a good mom... it was some light humor. Well I didn't get around to it this year. We did however have Jimmy John's for dinner. That is totally a celebration if you ask me.

So I am finally getting around to it. The last update post can be found here and much of the stuff talked about there is still accurate. So you can go back and refresh. I'll wait right here.

Madeline, pointing to the Mummy on her shirt.

Welcome back.

As for new info:

Gross Motor:
She is still dancing up a storm. She as mastered up and down stairs and can now climb the ladder at the playground near our house. On Monday she tried to climb a ladder at her uncle Bryan's new house. I wasn't there, but from what I heard she didn't get too far up. (Although I am sure she could have!)

Madeline is much more sure footed and runs with ease these days. Good for her, bad for me. She's as hard to catch as a greased pig at the county fair! Ok, not really but didn't that sound cool?!?!

This week she has started spinning in place and getting totally dizzy, then falling to the ground. I thought maybe she was playing ring around the rosy this way at day care, but when I sing the song she looks at me like, "what is your damage? I'm spinning here mom!" I am guessing that isn't it. She is still not jumping, but I know that is coming. She's still trying!

At the butterfly house with Madeline (Maddie) and Madeline (Maddy).

Fine Motor:
She still loves to draw. Although it isn't keeping her attention like it used to. I may have to mix it up and let her color odd stuff like paper towel tubes and paper plates.

She still prefers her fingers to a fork, but we have been giving her a spoon with her apple sauce or oatmeal and she manages that really well. That is until she gets fed up and shoves her hand in the bowl!

Momma and Mads, hanging with the "but-fies"
Please click on this photo to make it larger. We are totally out of focus, but I love it anyway. I love that face!

Language Development:
She is busting out new words every minute. Or at least it seems that way. I have recorded the ones I can remember below. Just like last time, I am going to list the real word and then her pronunciation in parenthesis.

bread (bed)
ham
egg
waffle (awful)
Rory or Ro Ro - a little girl at day care
bubble
pop - what a bubble does
apple
apple sauce (apple suc)
home
green beans (geeen beeeen)
toast
hockey
Blue note
puck (you don't want to know, but I am sure you can guess)
sleep (seep)
yummies
beans
oh my
oh no - this is one of my favorites, when accompanied by "the face", I'll get it on video!
hotsie-totsie
lock (ack)
cook
please (pees)
nigh-nigh
a piece (a pees)
me
mine
balloon (boon moom)
momma's or daddy's or maddy's
airplane (airbut)
bus (but)
pocket
Kathy (Kat E)
Elliot (El ut)
G.G. - Kevin's grandma
Ma -my grandma
fork (oak)
spoon (oon)
burp (buup)- totally one of my favorites!
bed (ed)
pillow
ho ho ho - what Santa Claus says
brush (bu sshh)
butterfly (but-fye)
hat
shoe (oooo)
tea
Lovies - what we say at bedtime as we are tucking her in
pasta (ah pa)
juice (ju sshh)
pretzel (pet sel)
pumpkin (pucket)
pancake (pnake)
bag
blow
kiki - what she calls her blanket, as blankie
whine - I said, "Maddy don't whine" She says, "WHINE!" in return. I was told.
turkeys (ukies)
high chair

And my least favorite?
no

Of course this doesn't include the first list that included 45 words which brings the grand total to 106! I know there are more. I'll update when I can.

Social Development:
Yesterday, when I dropped her off at Doodlebugs daycare, she ran right up to Rory and gave her a HUGE hug! She is also much more interactive with other kids at day care and her good friend Maddie! They are so cute together, even when they are fighting over the toys!

I don't know if this is really social, (maybe more emotional development) but she has gone to the bathroom in the toilet at least 5 times! Yesterday she told Kevin she had to pee and so he put her on the seat, and she did! It was a big moment. We celebrated with mini m&ms. Then before bathtime I put her on the toilet again and she peed AGAIN! No m&ms this time... she had just had a cookie. (I am going to have to write a post dedicated solely to my "word issues" in relation to toilet training. They are big issues. That post is coming. I can feel it in the air.)

Food:
Madeline eats just about everything still. She doesn't like rice or potatoes. I think it is just a texture thing. I am going to keep trying. She has finally given in to broccoli, but only if it is covered in cheese or cream sauce. It's a start right?

Madeline, with her "pucket" or pumpkin to you

Growth:
Madeline goes to see her doctor on Friday so I will have official stats then. She is at least as tall as a Koala, according to the chart at the zoo!

As for teeth, she is working on her canines as we speak. It has been a rough week because of that. These are the first teeth that have really bothered her. Or more likely, it is the first time she has been able to understand and communicate where her pain is. Before she was just crabby. Now she is unreasonable at times. I love me some children's Tylenol!
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That's it! You are all up to date. We are totally looking forward to this Christmas with our big girl! She is going to be so excited! Next year will be magical... this year is going to be pretty great though.

mg

Its been a big day...*

Before I head to bed I have to post. I. HAVE. TO! If toilet talk bothers you, look away.

Two weeks ago we bought a child sized toilet seat that sits on top of the regular seat. We have been letting Madeline sit on it before or after bath time. I totally know she is only 17 months old and it is pretty early to start all this but my thought is that I have introduced it to her so she can be comfortable with it even before she starts really using it. We have been talking about the toilet and that is where pee and poop go. Just to start, to begin, to sort of, kind of, maybe, get her halfway ready.

But tonight, oh tonight, I sat her on the seat and started her bath. She said, as she has said many times when sitting on the seat, "pee" and pointed to the bowl. This time she said it two more times and kind of looked at me funny and then it happened. She went to the bathroom on the toilet!!!!

I won't bore you with any more nity grity, but there were high fives and fist pumps all around. I know we have years of work ahead of us, but this is just a tiny glimpse into what life could be. A life without diapers will be a wonderful thing.

* alternate post title: My First... pee on the toilet!!!

mg