Friday, October 09, 2009

38 weeks

...and then some.

The photo above was taken last Friday. The look on my face says it all.

I am not sure I was aware the photo was being taken at that exact moment. That look however is priceless. As I look back at my posts on and around my due date with Madeline (here and here) I can feel how optimistic I was. Maybe optimistic isn't the right word... maybe rested? Or not miserably uncomfortable? Or not totally *&%$#ing ready for this baby to come out? (That is if I swore, which I don't, of course.) I am still happy and most definitely looking forward to meeting this little person. I am just significantly more READY to have this baby than I was last time.

Maybe it was nerves last time... I had no idea what was in store for me in the delivery room and that did honestly make me nervous. If I could go back and tell first-time-child-bearer-me that it was going to be ok and not that scary and pretty darn near perfect then maybe I would have been more ready to actually HAVE a baby.

It also could have been that I didn't know what was in store for us as parents either. In all my years of babysitting and nannying and such I knew nothing was going to prepare me (us) for the road that lie ahead. If I could go back and tell first-time-parent(s)-me (us) that it was going to be both better and worse than we ever imagined, but that those worst moments would be totally out shown by those best moments then maybe I would have been more ready to actually HAVE a baby.

Or it could have been the fact that I knew I wasn't going to go back to work full time and that I was worried that we wouldn't be able to manage our expenses (totally a worry that has yet to come to pass... but something I think I'd worry about even if we had hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank...). If I could go back and tell soon-to-be-first-time-stay-at-home-mom-me that it was all going to work out and not only would we not go broke, but we would be buying a larger home and still not going under then maybe, just maybe I would have been more ready to actually HAVE a baby.

As for me, today, at almost 39 weeks pregnant with our second baby, I am still nervous. I am nervous about how Madeline will react. I am nervous about adding another member of our family which seems pretty balanced most days. (Two on one is a good thing in parenting.) I worry about money (see above). I worry about a lot of stuff...


I am not nervous enough to ignore the fact that I am READY to HAVE this BABY!

I am ready to get rid of the heartburn that has plagued me for the past 10 weeks. I am ready to see my feet again and wear shoes that tie. I am ready to hold my baby and know who he or she is. I am ready to actually get to sleep again without hip pain and a million pillows. (I know Kevin is ready to get more than 2 inches of room in the bed at night!)

I am ready.

So that face...

that is the face of a woman who would like to have a baby. Soon. Like, now. Please.


As for my header, I know it is October 9th. I figured as long as this baby was still in that bump, it should still be watched. So until #2 is here... the bump watch continues.



bridget said...

I don't think you need to worry about how Madeline will react...she is a great kid and will be a wonderful big sister! Two years from now, you'll be blogging with your third pregnancy about how you didn't need to worry about how Madeline would react to a new baby...hahaha! Now go have that baby, dammit!

Gina said...

You SO do not look like you are 38 weeks. You look great!

Fiance-Jeanne said...

You look great Maureen. I can't wait to meet #2. I wish I was there to help.

Jen said...

You do look great.

Don't worry about Madeline. You'll be surprised at how well she handles it. And the big sister disruption just blends in with the new baby disruption and the postpartum healing disruption, and before you know it you've hit the 4-6 week point and things are seeming manageable again.

Chris Tea said...

Hi this is future Maurine. Madeline is going to love the new baby and you're going to handle it all, even the bumpy parts.

Come on baby! Hurry for your mommy!

Molly said...

I'm so sorry I passed on the worry-wart gene. I take full blame. Maddy is going to be a great sister. You're already a great mom. Kevin - well, he's the best dad I could want for my grandbabies. All will be well. You can blame the heartburn gene on Great-Ma. :)

Jenny and Aaron's Baby Blog said...

That's exactly how I felt with Q - so ready for him to arrive! I also kept getting very upset when my cousins and a friend had their babies before me; especially my cousin who's due date was 5 days after mine! So not fair. :) Hang in there!