...and then some.
The photo above was taken last Friday. The look on my face says it all.
I am not sure I was aware the photo was being taken at that exact moment. That look however is priceless. As I look back at my posts on and around my due date with Madeline (here and here) I can feel how optimistic I was. Maybe optimistic isn't the right word... maybe rested? Or not miserably uncomfortable? Or not totally *&%$#ing ready for this baby to come out? (That is if I swore, which I don't, of course.) I am still happy and most definitely looking forward to meeting this little person. I am just significantly more READY to have this baby than I was last time.
Maybe it was nerves last time... I had no idea what was in store for me in the delivery room and that did honestly make me nervous. If I could go back and tell first-time-child-bearer-me that it was going to be ok and not that scary and pretty darn near perfect then maybe I would have been more ready to actually HAVE a baby.
It also could have been that I didn't know what was in store for us as parents either. In all my years of babysitting and nannying and such I knew nothing was going to prepare me (us) for the road that lie ahead. If I could go back and tell first-time-parent(s)-me (us) that it was going to be both better and worse than we ever imagined, but that those worst moments would be totally out shown by those best moments then maybe I would have been more ready to actually HAVE a baby.
Or it could have been the fact that I knew I wasn't going to go back to work full time and that I was worried that we wouldn't be able to manage our expenses (totally a worry that has yet to come to pass... but something I think I'd worry about even if we had hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank...). If I could go back and tell soon-to-be-first-time-stay-at-home-mom-me that it was all going to work out and not only would we not go broke, but we would be buying a larger home and still not going under then maybe, just maybe I would have been more ready to actually HAVE a baby.
As for me, today, at almost 39 weeks pregnant with our second baby, I am still nervous. I am nervous about how Madeline will react. I am nervous about adding another member of our family which seems pretty balanced most days. (Two on one is a good thing in parenting.) I worry about money (see above). I worry about a lot of stuff...
I am not nervous enough to ignore the fact that I am READY to HAVE this BABY!
I am ready to get rid of the heartburn that has plagued me for the past 10 weeks. I am ready to see my feet again and wear shoes that tie. I am ready to hold my baby and know who he or she is. I am ready to actually get to sleep again without hip pain and a million pillows. (I know Kevin is ready to get more than 2 inches of room in the bed at night!)
I am ready.
So that face...
that is the face of a woman who would like to have a baby. Soon. Like, now. Please.
As for my header, I know it is October 9th. I figured as long as this baby was still in that bump, it should still be watched. So until #2 is here... the bump watch continues.