Friday, March 12, 2010

Little Big Town

I love where we live.

As an example, here is a snippet of the Area Crime Report from our local newspaper.

  • Local police were informed by a resident in the 1000 block of R_____ Drive that an area family is taking over the minds of local dogs and turning them against their owners. Police have been advised the only way to protect pooches is to install an anti-force-field on their heads when going outside. A police investigation has revealed the best method would be to obtain an aluminum pie pan, cut slits in it for the dog's ears, place the pan over the doggie's head, fold it over and secure it with duct tape. Another safety tip from the local Boys in Blue...
  • Officers are on the edge looking for a possible merry prankster, following a Feb. 26 report from a resident in the 500 block of H_____ Court. The reident told police someone had taken carpet deoderizer from inside her home, and replaced it with a different brand. The culprits also took meat from her refridgerator and replaced it with meat that had an earlier sell-by date. an investigation continues.
  • Officers investigated a possible handgun in plain sight inside a vehicle parked in the 9500 block of M______ Road March 2. Investigation revealed the suspected gun was a chrome head to a vacuum cleaner.
I couldn't make this stuff up even if I tried.



Molly said...

Looks like psychosis is running rampant in our little burg. This is good for us Mental Health professionals, bad for everyone else (including the cops). Be on the lookout for canines in tin hats.


Elliot said...

Can't believe they don't have this one:

Officer stopped a vehicle at the intersection of S____ and B____ Blvd Tuesday Mar 16 for burnt out tail lights. Upon investigation of driver's credentials, a brownie in a plastic baggie was seen on the passenger seat. Officer investigated to find it was heart-shaped and full of chocolate, and had been prepared by the motorist's mother, a longtime resident on L___ Ave. The brownie is reported to have been scrumptious. The motorist was released without further questioning and no charges have been filed.

Elliot said...

^That should read "Tuesday Feb 16"

Molly said...

I wonder if they got Jack for the same offense.... I gave Jack a brownie in a baggie two weeks ago, but I told him to hide it in his glove compartment in case he got pulled over.

Michelle said...

I adore your neighborhood!

RPS said...

Oh, wow. We are SO in the wrong place! Miss you all!