silent no more

I'm stressed. I haven't talked about why though. Part of me was unsure about opening up on the blog. Why? Well, I love to vent, but do other people really want to hear about what is causing me to feel like I am moments away from a major panic attach? Especially when it isn't even THAT serious... (my husband still has his job, my family still has their health... I mean really... am I that shallow?) But it is important to me, and it is causing me stress. I have to honor that as long as I also keep it in perspective.

Another part of me is totally superstitious and I think that if I talk about it too much, it may not come true. Yes, the source of my stress is a GOOD thing.

Two weeks ago yesterday, Kevin and I put a contract on a house. And I couldn't be more stressed out about it.

It is in the school district we want, and it is a steal. We love it and can see ourselves very happy for many, many, many years to come. The problem: we are one of multiple contracts on this property, AND it is a home in pre-foreclosure so normal realty time lines don't apply. So we wait... and wait... and wait. We may have no shot at the property at all or we may have the best contract. We simply have NO IDEA!!! I am not good at being patient.

What else is causing me stress? We weren't really looking for a house just yet so our current house is going to take some work to put on the market. (touch up paint, cleaning of closets, removal of clutter and general crap...) So if, and boy is it a big IF, we get the new house we will close in mid-March. That is a very short turn around to get our house on the market and sell. (especially in this economy) Having two homes is not really in our budget.

AND THERE IS MORE! If we don't get the new house, then we don't know if we are going to move at all. But we don't want to wait to long and then scramble to get our current house ready to sell at that last minute. The other houses for sale that meet our criteria aren't really what we are looking for right now. We know the spring busy season is coming, but we had sort of decided to stay in our current house for a few more years. To save money and allow me time to go back to work full time or maybe more part-time then I am now.

So that is why I have to figure out how to clean the inside of my oven. That is why I have bought stock in Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. That is why I have spent all day today cleaning out closets and packing up boxes. And that is why I have been so stressed. Deep down I hope that this new house will be our home. I am already dreaming about where our stuff would go and having a big back yard for Madeline to play in and a deck to relax on. But then I remember that our chances are slim and I don't want to be too disappointed when it doesn't happen.

I will keep you updated. Don't be surprised if I don't have anything to tell you for a while. We could have an answer on Monday, we may not hear anything until the middle of February. Your guess is as good as ours.

Oh the stress!

mg