The post where I admit I might have a problem with crafting

So in preparation for Lydia's first birthday party I realized I am crazy.

My house was a mess and I needed to clean almost every inch. So what did I do? I made a birthday banner out of felt!

My self refelction continues as Halloween approaches.

Tonight I needed to grade papers, prepare lecture and activities for the class I'm teaching tomorrow night. So what did I do? I sewed Madeline's halloween costume.

I promise photos of the craziness. Until then, can you send me resources for craft a holics? My husband would really appreciate it.

mg

A letter to my second daugther on her first birthday

Top to bottom, left to right: October 2009 through September 2010

Happy Birthday Lydia.

Today you turn one and, as cliche as it is, I can hardly believe it. To mark this occasion I have decided to finally write the story of your birth. It wasn't dramatic, but it was ours. I hope you enjoy it.
__________

Friday, October 16, 2009

Three days before you were born I celebrated my birthday with a doctors appointment. (Not exactly how I thought I spend my 30th birthday but what ever!) According to the doctor I was getting closer to your delivery, but it could have been an hour or a week away.

I was ready for you to be born. Really ready.

Your Dad couldn't wait either not to mention your very excited big sister.

So, on my 30th birthday, I scheduled an induction for 12am Monday morning. I was going to meet my second baby, my #2.
__________

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

After dinner at Maw Maw and Paw Paw's, Dad and I kissed your sister goodbye and left her in the capable hands of your grandparents. At home we packed the last minute items into a bag, tooth brush, deodorant, chap stick. It felt like we were packing for a weekend away. At 10pm I called the hospital to make sure they had a bed for us. They asked us to come in at 12:30am. So we waited, we tried to sleep a little and as I rested you kicked around. I like to think you were excited too.
__________

Monday, October 19th, 2009

We left the house about midnight and as your dad drove I sat very uncomfortably next to him. I was having small contractions all the way to the hospital. Once they checked us into the hospital and hooked me up to the monitors it showed that I was in fact having some contractions. You were as ready to meet us as we were to meet you. They started my induction at about 1:25am. Dad tried to sleep a bit. I rested as best I could hooked up to machines and IVs and all.

At some point in the mid morning hours (around 7:25am I think) the doctor came in to check on me. She had just finished an emergency C-section and wondered if she had enough time to go home for breakfast. She didn't.

What seemed like moments later I was ready to push. With the doctor and Dad at the ready I pushed for a total of maybe 10 minutes. I think it was three pushes and you were here. At exactly 8am my second daughter was born.
_________

Now, a year later, there is so much that could write about: How you have changed our lives. The love that you and your sister share. Your very first steps. The silly way you dance. Your goofy ear to ear grin. Instead I will just say that you are a perfect fit for our family and you will always fit perfectly in my heart.

Love,
Mom

mg

Thirty One

Today we celebrated Lydia's first birthday. The party will be a post of its own but I am really hear to tell you that I am just not ready for this.

In the last two weeks Lydia has started walking. She is talking more and more every day. She is full of energy and silly to the bone. I love Lydia at one.

I am just not ready for this.

As I welcome Lydia the toddler into our lives, that means saying goodbye to Lydia the baby. Although I do not miss the sleepless nights or the hour long crying jags of infancy, it is still hard to say goodbye to my baby.

I am just not ready for this.

I wasn't ready for her to wean from nursing, which she did a month a half ago. Much to my chagrin.

I am just not ready for this.

It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Madeline's first birthday. Madeline has grown up so quickly I just want to stop time and take this all in because it feels like it is going too fast. Before I know it, Lydia will be a high energy 3 1/2 year old and Madeline will be 5.

I am just not ready for this.

__________

P.S. Today is my birthday. Leave me some blog love, eh?

mg

So cute it hurts to look at her

Well, either that or I need to consider her wardrobe a little more critically in the morning.

mg

Best grandma photo EVER

Mainly b/c Granny looks so very happy and her girls look 16, 14, and 13 instead of 3, 11m and 2m old. There were about 20 photos of Granny and her girls on my camera when I uploaded to my computer (taken by my dad I think). This was hands down the best one.

At least Granny looks good.

And a note to Granny: I hope this makes your day a little better... :)


mg

It will be better when...

This has been a mantra of mine for as long as I can remember. At least since I entered my 'adult' years starting with college. And although it helps me get through life, I hate it. I feel like I'm wishing my life away.

It was almost exactly a year ago that my mind was focused on how much better I'd feel once the new baby was in my arms and not in my belly. Then it was how I'd feel better once I was getting more sleep. Which changed to thoughts of how much more I would get done once Lydia was taking solid scheduled naps. Then I focused on how much nicer it would be when the weather got warmer. Then, after the super hot summer we had, how nice it would be to spent time outside when the weather cooled off. And I looked forward to Madeline starting school with more hope and desire than I can explain in a blog post.

So what is it now? Life will settle down after Lydia's birthday. But will it?

But it never gets easier. There is always something next. Always something else that stands in the way of me feeling like I am on top of life.

So far, my family has not starved, no one has gone without clean clothes (although Madeline has come very close to going without unndderrppannttss*, which isn't a surprise to some (I'm looking at you Auntie Maine)) and my house isn't imploding from dust bunnies and dirty dishes.

ARGHALAFARGHALADARGALARARGALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, instead of blogging about feeling behind I need to work on Tuesday's to do list.

Yep, Tuesdays.


__________
*I'm sorry I don't want pervs finding my blog by googling the correct spelling of that word so unndderrppannttss it is...

mg