Maybe another day

Parenthood is so much harder than I expected it to be. Although I knew that I would have to guide my children through disappointment I never thought that I would feel it as acutely as they do.

Today Madeline was disappointed. The details of the situation aren't important, basically I told her something was going to happen and it didn't and it was totally out of my control to do anything about.

For the first time in her life I saw her truly disappointed. She curled up in my lap and quietly cried.

And to be honest, so did I.

No parent wants to see their child sad or disappointed. Today's situation was especially frustrating because there was NOTHING I could do to fix it. There was no equal alternative to offer her. Not much to distract her attention.

I wanted to fix this but I couldn't and I know that I won't always be able to. She has to learn that life can be disappointing. (I just choked up typing that last line, thinking about all of the times I've been disappointed and not ever, ever wanting my girls to feel that way.) I also know that I have to help guide them through these times and teach them how to deal with them. That is so very hard.

Talking to Kevin earlier today he said that he knew he was going to have to deal with disappointments as they grew up. Maybe they would be picked on, or not invited to a birthday party. We never thought it would start so very young. Yet there she sat, at three years old, in my lap with tears running down her face, truly disappointed.

I want to make it clear that today's events may not have been positive for us, but I am not angered by what happened. It's life and we move on. It was just hard to see Madeline react the way she did.

In all of this she taught me a huge lesson. After crying for a while we got up to get dressed for the rest of our day. She wiped her tears away (the ones I hadn't already taken care of) and moved on. She mentioned the situation only two more times during the day, and both times she ended her recounting with, 'but I'm ok. Maybe another day."

I, on the other hand, can't get the image of my little girl sobbing on my lap out of my mind. Yet again it is the student teaching the master*.

Maybe another day.

__________
*Let it be known that I do not in any way what so ever consider myself a master at parenting. I am actually far from it. Thankyouverymuch.


mg

Dear Kevin,

Happy 5th Anniversary AND Happy Father's Day.

You are the best husband I could ask for and the best father Madeline and Lydia could hope for. Thank you for helping me build the very best life for our family. You are amazing in all that you do.

Love,

Maureen

Ps. I promise that next father's day I won't make you mow the lawn and weed the gardens in the 90+ degree heat. Make sure you hold me to that, K? :)

mg

My First....

Road Trip! (for Lydia at least)

Two weekends ago we packed our bags for Lydia's first road trip. Our destination was Overland Park, Kansas.

On our way.

Why Overland Park, Kansas. Well, why not?

Let me rewind. When I graduated high school I spent two years at Truman State University. My sophomore (and final) year I was a Student Assistant (SA) in the dorms and worked with some of the most amazing people. Over that year, I grew a lot as an individual and learned so much about myself and my place in the world and a lot of that growth has to do with the company I kept. Although I didn't return the following school year, the friends I made that year mean more to me that most of them will ever know.

Dobson Hall staff 1999-2000. It is hard to see but there are 13 of us in this photo. Eleven of us are wearing plaid. Gotta love the 90's.

Two of those friends are Adrienne and Michelle. Although we lost touch for a while these girls have become a huge part of my emotional support system over the last three years. Through the magic of technology and e-mail, I truly believe I am (emotionally) closer to them now than I was more than 10 years ago despite being (physically) very far away. One is in Nebraska, the other in Georgia.

In order to get us all together we decided we were going to have to pick a location that would be easy for all of us to get to. We chose KC because it was about the same distance drive for Adrienne and I and cheaper for Michelle to fly to than many other central Midwest destinations.

We honestly didn't do anything Kansas City related. We chose a hotel with a pool in a suburban and residential area with many parks. We met to spend time together and only spend time together. It was awesome.

Our lives are so very different than they were 10 years ago. All three of us are married, and we have four children (and one on the way) all three and under between us. Not to mention that our husbands had never really met each other. Even with all that, it was such a fun weekend for all of us.

Madeline playing ball in the hotel lobby with Alexander (3) on Friday night.

Our room faced the pool court yard.
Madeline was ready to hit the pool the moment we checked in.

Double trouble.
That mirror kept her entertained for a very long time.

Us now.
Michelle, Adrienne (who is 7 months pregnant and looks amazing!) and me.
Man, I look like a giant.

While we hung out, we let the kids play in traffic.
Devon (1.5) Madeline and Alexander

We picked up right where we left off and couldn't be bothered to stop our conversations for a photo. Don't you love Lydia grabbing her sister and Madeline recoiling in fear?

We broke from our conversation for a second.

The whole gang.
The guys are (l to r) Paul, Kevin and Bharath.

After a long, amazing weekend:

the girls passed out on the way home.

Traveling with small children was stressful but I can say without a doubt that the trip was more than worth it. The girls left the kiddos with the guys and had a wonderful lunch together and we even squeezed in a shopping trip.

To my dear friends:

Thank you. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for listening to my stories. Thank you for giving the best advice I could ask for, even when it isn't what I want to hear, I need to hear it. Thank you for traveling to KC to spend time together. Thank you for having excellent taste in spouses (because I enjoyed the time with your guys as much as I enjoyed my time with you)! Thank you for having such adorable and wonderful children. Madeline enjoyed them both! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Maureen


mg

June 2010

I didn't want to let go of my April header. But I know that the time was (over) due. With the new look is a new masthead. Enjoy.

mg

Hey good lookin'

The blog has a new look.

Too bad the header is from April.

Can't win them all.

mg

My Second...

Trip to the ER this week.

Yep. That is Madeline at the ER last night, uh, this morning.

As I said yesterday she was diagnosed with herpangina which is characterized by recurrent fever and canker like sores in her mouth and throat. These sores make it very difficult to swallow. So when she woke up at 11:30pm and I couldn't get her to swallow medicine to make her feel better I called the physician's exchange.

The nurse asked me a lot of questions and in her questioning they asked if she could swallow and if she was drooling. At the time, she swallowed a little, but most of the time she was drooling. This was alarming to the nurse because that can be the sign of a restricted air way. She called the dr on call and she also wanted us to head to the ER to have her checked out.

Now, I felt that her airway was fine. She was breathing well, she just didn't want to swallow only made worse by the fact that she was sleepy and not feeling well. But, I also didn't want to be negligent just in case there was a larger problem. So at 12:20am I called my mother who agreed to go with me to the ER so that Kevin could stay with Lydia at hopefully get some sleep so he could take over in the morning. (We were silly to think he could sleep, because he couldn't, but we were happy to have Granny come help us out any way.)

Once at the ER, for the second time this week, they confirmed that her airway was clear, but they did give us a script for what they called magic mouthwash. It is a mix of three different medicines that soothes, reduces swelling and eases pain. Last night Madeline was screaming as we gave her the medicines. Five minutes later she was happy and smiling. Today it has been hard to get her to take the medicines again. But it does seem to help a bit. The trip was worth it for that reason.

I'd really like to never see the ER again. Twice in five days is no fun at all.

That being said, I am very grateful for the perspective this week has given me. I don't want to say that I have enjoyed it, because I haven't. But first the cut and now this illness has given me just a little taste of what many families go through on a much more regular basis. We are so very lucky to have two healthy girls who don't have chronic illnesses. I appreciate how difficult it must be for families who spend much of their time and energy managing their children's medical issues.

For now, my hope is that this illness passes quickly through Madeline. They say it can last 7 to 10 days which will be amazingly difficult if that is what holds true. I also pray that Lydia is spared from catching it. The ER doctors were not too hopeful on that account. They told me it is a very contagious virus. Keep your fingers crossed.

Maybe some day I will get around to posting about this past weekend in KC.

Maybe tomorrow. :)

mg

This girl

This girl has had quite the week. She started and ended her week with trips to the doctor. First was the attack of the coffee table. (Her eye is healing very nicely by the way)

Now, she has been diagnosed with herpangina. She alternates between happy and weepy without much warning. I couldn't get her to eat lunch, of cool liquidy foods, but an hour later she ate a crunchy granola bar and two cheese sticks. Go figure.

I know I posted everyday for 31 days. I thought I'd try to keep up at least a little of that momentum. Between going out of town and the mishaps/illness of the week, I am slacking again. I think my motto should be "Maybe tomorrow".

mg

My second...

trip to the children's ER.

Read about her first visit here.

Yep, that's Madeline with a nasty gash on her eye lid.

At 9am she fell and hit her head on the coffee table in our family room. Although we stopped the bleeding quickly we took her to the doctor to have it looked at because of how close it was to her eye.

The marks you see below her eye are mainly scrapes. That cut above her eye, on the lid, was a pretty gnarly looking cut that was surprisingly deep and gaping open. That coffee table was vicious.

After meeting with the doctor he confirmed that her eye is great, but the gash needed more attention then the pediatrician's office could handle so they sent us to the ER.

After two and a half hours (and only maybe 30 minutes total of medical staff interactions, oh how I hate waiting) she was cleaned up, and glued back together.


After one ice pack, three stickers, one cookie, Bread Company for lunch, two popsicles and a brownie sundae she was feeling much better.

I am exhausted.

We just returned from a few days away from home and today was suppose to be our catch up day. So much for that. (more about our weekend road trip soon)

I have more photos detailing our day, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.

A HUGE thanks to:
-my mother in law for rushing over to the house to stay with Lydia during the doctor/er drama, Maw Maw rocks
-to my mother for leaving work on a very busy day and visiting with us in the hospital as we waited, it was a great distraction. Thank you Granny!
-Kevin, for being off work this morning so I didn't have to do this alone, and calling in to work so he could be there with Madeline (his love for our girls never ceases to amaze me)
-my dad for cooking me dinner as I had no energy left, so yummy
-Madeline, for being a super trooper through the whole ordeal and keeping me smiling and laughing all day long

Before I forget, my favorite Madeline-ism for the day:

as she is being seen by the ER doctor and a resident, "I really am an excellent doctor. You know my name IS Madeline Opal Lastname Doctor."

She never ceases to amaze me.

mg

she cooks

She made me cookies and spaghetti pizza. It was yummy.

See you Monday!

Loves!

mg

turkey apple cupping

What? Huh? Maureen, what in the world are you talking about?

You don't know what turkey apple is? Well, neither do I. But what else would you call this guy?


Maybe a flamingo plum? What you can't see in this photo is the stem and leaves on its rear end. It is a food bird... I call him the turkey apple.

Madeline just likes "cupping" it to "make sure it can see."



Have a talked about Madeline's active imagination lately? On this particular day she was playing a game she called cupping and catching babies. First she would put the cup on their heads.


Then she'd catch them. Can you see that? She has a wrench and is hanging that turkey apple by the neck. It was hilariously disturbing.


I won't complain though. She played independently for almost an hour. Awesome if you ask me.

Lydia just wants to make sure she isn't next to be cupped and caught.


Sorry kid, you're on your own.

__________
Did ANYONE notice that I blogged everyday for a month. I rock and you're welcome.


mg